Question: How to calibrate with the expectations of my spouse (friend)?
My dear, you need to listen to the voice of your heart and mind and make it certain that all of your abilities of head and heart are working on all known aspects in well-known dimensions with perfection.
Main thing in connection is your indulgence and how much you pour your heart in it as love is the main force and heart is its instrument. So, if you want the love force to be more attractive and working, keep your expectations level low from your loved one and make all out efforts to expectations level low from the other side.
Love is more profuse, prospers and grows when you give leverages and expect less responsibilities.
Love for spouse (friend) when compared with your love for God lets you calibrate it with perfection towards more accuracy.
Love between human beings is best understood when calibrated to a Prophet’s (Peace be Upon Him) love for God which is standard.